TODAY, my husband and I will celebrate four years of marriage and I decided to take you on a journey of how we met, our friendship, dating life, and wedding day for this month. I want you to walk down the path called Memory Lane with me. Everyone stories are so different and unique, I wanted to share mine with you.

This time I would like to talk about my highlights with Nathan as we were friends. For some reason, my teenage and early college years are blurry and I remember highlights and moments rather than specific details. Our friendship was built mainly on two things: My family went to first service at our church and Nathan went to second service. During the period between services, Nathan and I would talk (we can just say I TALKED!). The second thing that helped with our friendship was the fact that we had similar friends in common. The group I hung out with was the same group Nathan hung out with.

I want to share 10 moments of friendship between Nathan and I while we were friends and it will not be in chronically order (sorry OCD readers). I know we had a lot more memories, but these are the moments I remember best:

1.      I told Nathan I would never marry him because he made the comment that he could never marry me since I was apparently “too young” for him. So I said, “I will never marry you because you’re too old!” Please note that I was 17 and he was 21 at the time.

2.      Nathan came to my 18^th Birthday Party. I invited him on a whim and he actually came! He gave me an up-close picture of a flower he took in a nice frame. I still have that picture, even though currently, it is in Georgia at my parent’s house.

3.      Nathan came to my homeschool graduation. I know what you’re thinking: a young man attending BOTH my party and graduation says something. But you know what? It went ALL over my head. I was in la-la land apparently. Remember, I had said that I would never marry him. (That brings on a whole new meaning of not saying never)

4.      Nathan remembers a time that we went to the movies with a group of friends and we sat next to one another. I barely remember that, but I thought I would include it since it’s sweet.

5.      One time I was an idiot and gave my bank account number away to a sale representative over the phone. (Please keep in mind I was either 18 or 19 at the time) Afterwards, it hit me how stupid it was and I was too afraid to tell my parents. Who was the first person I thought of? Nathan. So I picked up my cell phone and called Nathan to ask him what he thought I should do. He advised me to get my account number changed as quickly as I could. I did that and everything went dandy afterwards (yes, my mom did find out later, but it was too late to be concern with it).

6.      Nathan and I used to meet up with one another to go out to eat or get coffee. I remember Nathan ALWAYS used to pay the bill (guess it was practice?) like a gentleman! I had to tell the server to make it TWO tickets because Nathan was so sweet and paid for it all the time.

7.      One time, my friend Katheryn and I were hanging out and we decided to meet Nathan somewhere. I remember Katheryn saying, “He’s a nice guy!” Like hint hint. Of course it went over my little head again. No surprise there!

8.      I remember telling Nathan that I got a job as a server/barista in my local town and how excited I was. He always meant to visit me but I don’t remember him doing it. But he was sweet to think about me (he lived in one town and I in another, so in his defense, he wasn’t too familiar the area).

9.      One night we sat in a parking lot in the bed of his truck talking. I don’t remember what we talked about, but I do remember that moment and it has always stuck with me.

10.  I got a call from Nathan in May 2008 that he had gotten his orders to leave for South Korea. I immediately told him we HAD to set up a day and time before he left to get together one last time. We didn’t do that until a month later in early June, a few days before he left for his one year tour. After we ate, we stood outside next to his car talking and since I didn’t know if I would see him ever again, I told him that he better send me an invitation to his wedding so I can know who the lucky girl was. He asked for me to do the same thing. I also gave him a hand-written letter thanking him for his friendship and how he never abused it. I also gave him my number and address just in case he ever wanted to write or call me. In the letter, I told him I didn’t want to lose his friendship and wanted it to continue going. We hugged and parted ways.

To find out what happens next, tune in next week on the story of how we starting dating! You don’t want to miss out!

On a side note, what is YOUR Favorite Memory between you and your spouse while you were “just friends”? I would love to hear your story!

We all struggle with forgiveness in our lives. I know I have. I have been dealing with it for a while now and have to remind myself that I need to forgive. It’s a tough, uphill battle sometimes. I want to talk about the three reasons why we must forgive and most of the time, it’s for us, not the other person. We are not responsible for their behavior, but we are responsible for our hearts. 

This can be especially hard in marriage. I know it’s tough for me to forgive my spouse when he says or does something that hurts me. Even though I may feel like I have every “right” to hold onto my bitterness, which in Christ’s eyes, I don’t. And I want to tell you the three reasons why I work hard at forgiving my spouse or someone else.

Reason 1: Satan will gain a foothold in your heart.

Satan wants you to feel like you have the “right” to hang onto your bitterness and unforgiveness. He wants you to believe that. And he has successfully duped every one of us into that way of thinking. He knows it takes more effort to believe we don’t have a right, so he gives us an easy pathway where we don’t have to take responsibility for our own hearts and minds.

But Jesus has called us to a higher standard. He has called us to forgive. He has called us to put away all bitterness, wrath, anger, malice, and unforgiveness (Eph. 4:31).

"Be angry, but do not sin, do not let the sun go down on your wrath (or unforgiveness), not give place to the devil." Eph. 4:26-27

When you don’t forgive, you’ll allowing Satan to rule and reign in your heart. For FREE! You are letting him grip your mind in anger, confusion, and bitterness to turn you into something that God never created you to be. When you don't let your unforgiveness go, you're allowing Satan to come in and wreck havoc on YOUR life and on YOUR relationships. Don’t let Satan do this to you. I know firsthand what bitterness and unforgiveness looks like in a person who is ruled by Satan and has wrecked havoc on their own life and the lives of others surrounding them. I IMPLORE you not to become that way for Christ created you to be much more than that.

Reason 2: God said if you don’t forgive, He won’t forgive you.

“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:14-15

Ouch. God's Word just said it all and there's nothing left for me to explain.

Reason 3: You’ll show that person Christ.

You may be thinking, “But I was the victim here! They don’t deserve forgiveness!” No one deserves forgiveness, sweetie. Not you and not the person who did you wrong. But didn’t Christ die for us? Didn’t Christ forgive us of our sins? Didn’t Christ forgive YOU when you didn’t want to have anything to do with Him? Do you think it was FAIR for Him to pay for OUR sins, sins He never committed?

If the answer is yes and you agree that He did all those things, then He expects you to do the same. He expects you to display the same love, compassion, and kindness that He showed you. He says in Ephesians 4:31-32, “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

If you think that forgiving that person is showing weakness or isn't "fair", then look at the cross. Are you saying that when Christ died for you and your sins that it was weakness? Are you saying that it was justify that God should pay for our mistakes? If the answer is no, then when you forgive and show that compassion to a person who "don't deserve it", you're showing them Jesus Christ.

When you forgive, you are displaying God. You are being their Jesus Christ right then and there. You are being a witness. You are taking up your cross and carrying it. You're being obedient.

Bottom Line: God EXPECTS you to forgive because He FORGAVE you. He went to the extremities of forgiving you. Not only that, He knows the freedom it brings when you release that anger and hurt into His loving arms. He knows the PEACE it will bring when you forgive that person, whether it be a friend or a spouse. Unforgiveness destroys the heart, but forgiveness brings healing and freedom to the heart.

Forgiveness is for ME. Not for THEM. 

What if that other person does not want to forgive me?

Say that you practice these things and let go of your unforgiveness, but your spouse, friend, or relative has not. What if they are still bitter and angry towards you and what you did to them?

Here are the things you can do:

1.      Ask for forgiveness from our heavenly Father.

2.      Ask forgiveness from your spouse, relative, or friend.

3.      Ask God to soften their heart so they can forgive you.

That’s all you can do. If you have cleanse your heart before God Almighty and owed up to your mistake and showed the person you wronged that you recognize it, then you are pure and clean in His eyes. If your spouse, friend, or relative does not want to forgive you, that’s on them and they will have to work it out in their own heart when they want to.

But it’s your responsibility to forgive others. Satan wants to destroy your heart with the cancer called bitterness. God called you to forgive. He wants you to experience freedom and peace. Christ came and died for you and He wants you to display the same grace and compassion to others as He has shown to you. Forgiveness is not just for you and me, it's for the entire world.

The picture below helps me to put sin back into perspective, especially when I struggle with unforgiveness. I hope it helps you too. I also attached a song by Tenth Avenue North that helps me to remember that it's okay to feel the way I am feeling, but I should cry out to God to help me to forgive that person and look past my hurt to see their hurt.

On March 12 of this year, my husband and I will be married 4 amazing, hard, blissful years! Our journey has not been an easy one, moving from the States to Germany, then back to the States. If marriage has taught me anything is that you cannot make it without relying on God and trusting in Him! 

But I'm not here to talk about that today, instead I'm want to reflect. I want to tell you of my love story between my husband and me. I want you to know how we met, our friendship stage, our dating stage, and then our wedding day. Everyone loves love stories right? Well here's mine and we shall start with the day I met him:

I don't remember the day exactly, but I think it was a Sunday evening and it was in the late summer because it was beginning to cool off. My church at the time was putting on a bible study and was meeting in a little house that they had built off of the church. I remember walking into the building, and lo and behold, a young man was sitting and we locked eyes. I remember that out of everything, just how in that moment, our eyes locked. 

The event after that is fuzzy as I was only 16 years old, about to be 17 (doesn't that remind you of a song?). I was into t-shirts, studded belts, and converse shoes. Anyways, I don't remember being introduced (which I am assuming we were because I've always known Nathan's name). 

During the bible study, I remember Nathan looking at me during the entire study as if to get my approval over what he was saying or checking me out, I didn't know which one. I was trying to decide if this strange young man was cute or not. By the end of the study, I had come to my conclusion: he was not cute.

Little did I know that day would start a long journey, but we all start somewhere and I started with him not being cute. 

Next time I will talk about the highlights of our friendship. Since high school and college years are all sort of blended together, I only remember highlights of our friendship and would like for you to know them as well. 

So how did you meet your spouse? Did you think your spouse was attractive or weird or annoying? I would love to hear your story as every story is just so different!