We all struggle with forgiveness in our lives. I know I have. I have been dealing with it for a while now and have to remind myself that I need to forgive. It’s a tough, uphill battle sometimes. I want to talk about the three reasons why we must forgive and most of the time, it’s for us, not the other person. We are not responsible for their behavior, but we are responsible for our hearts. 

This can be especially hard in marriage. I know it’s tough for me to forgive my spouse when he says or does something that hurts me. Even though I may feel like I have every “right” to hold onto my bitterness, which in Christ’s eyes, I don’t. And I want to tell you the three reasons why I work hard at forgiving my spouse or someone else.

Reason 1: Satan will gain a foothold in your heart.

Satan wants you to feel like you have the “right” to hang onto your bitterness and unforgiveness. He wants you to believe that. And he has successfully duped every one of us into that way of thinking. He knows it takes more effort to believe we don’t have a right, so he gives us an easy pathway where we don’t have to take responsibility for our own hearts and minds.

But Jesus has called us to a higher standard. He has called us to forgive. He has called us to put away all bitterness, wrath, anger, malice, and unforgiveness (Eph. 4:31).

"Be angry, but do not sin, do not let the sun go down on your wrath (or unforgiveness), not give place to the devil." Eph. 4:26-27

When you don’t forgive, you’ll allowing Satan to rule and reign in your heart. For FREE! You are letting him grip your mind in anger, confusion, and bitterness to turn you into something that God never created you to be. When you don't let your unforgiveness go, you're allowing Satan to come in and wreck havoc on YOUR life and on YOUR relationships. Don’t let Satan do this to you. I know firsthand what bitterness and unforgiveness looks like in a person who is ruled by Satan and has wrecked havoc on their own life and the lives of others surrounding them. I IMPLORE you not to become that way for Christ created you to be much more than that.

Reason 2: God said if you don’t forgive, He won’t forgive you.

“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:14-15

Ouch. God's Word just said it all and there's nothing left for me to explain.

Reason 3: You’ll show that person Christ.

You may be thinking, “But I was the victim here! They don’t deserve forgiveness!” No one deserves forgiveness, sweetie. Not you and not the person who did you wrong. But didn’t Christ die for us? Didn’t Christ forgive us of our sins? Didn’t Christ forgive YOU when you didn’t want to have anything to do with Him? Do you think it was FAIR for Him to pay for OUR sins, sins He never committed?

If the answer is yes and you agree that He did all those things, then He expects you to do the same. He expects you to display the same love, compassion, and kindness that He showed you. He says in Ephesians 4:31-32, “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

If you think that forgiving that person is showing weakness or isn't "fair", then look at the cross. Are you saying that when Christ died for you and your sins that it was weakness? Are you saying that it was justify that God should pay for our mistakes? If the answer is no, then when you forgive and show that compassion to a person who "don't deserve it", you're showing them Jesus Christ.

When you forgive, you are displaying God. You are being their Jesus Christ right then and there. You are being a witness. You are taking up your cross and carrying it. You're being obedient.

Bottom Line: God EXPECTS you to forgive because He FORGAVE you. He went to the extremities of forgiving you. Not only that, He knows the freedom it brings when you release that anger and hurt into His loving arms. He knows the PEACE it will bring when you forgive that person, whether it be a friend or a spouse. Unforgiveness destroys the heart, but forgiveness brings healing and freedom to the heart.

Forgiveness is for ME. Not for THEM. 

What if that other person does not want to forgive me?

Say that you practice these things and let go of your unforgiveness, but your spouse, friend, or relative has not. What if they are still bitter and angry towards you and what you did to them?

Here are the things you can do:

1.      Ask for forgiveness from our heavenly Father.

2.      Ask forgiveness from your spouse, relative, or friend.

3.      Ask God to soften their heart so they can forgive you.

That’s all you can do. If you have cleanse your heart before God Almighty and owed up to your mistake and showed the person you wronged that you recognize it, then you are pure and clean in His eyes. If your spouse, friend, or relative does not want to forgive you, that’s on them and they will have to work it out in their own heart when they want to.

But it’s your responsibility to forgive others. Satan wants to destroy your heart with the cancer called bitterness. God called you to forgive. He wants you to experience freedom and peace. Christ came and died for you and He wants you to display the same grace and compassion to others as He has shown to you. Forgiveness is not just for you and me, it's for the entire world.

The picture below helps me to put sin back into perspective, especially when I struggle with unforgiveness. I hope it helps you too. I also attached a song by Tenth Avenue North that helps me to remember that it's okay to feel the way I am feeling, but I should cry out to God to help me to forgive that person and look past my hurt to see their hurt.

On March 12 of this year, my husband and I will be married 4 amazing, hard, blissful years! Our journey has not been an easy one, moving from the States to Germany, then back to the States. If marriage has taught me anything is that you cannot make it without relying on God and trusting in Him! 

But I'm not here to talk about that today, instead I'm want to reflect. I want to tell you of my love story between my husband and me. I want you to know how we met, our friendship stage, our dating stage, and then our wedding day. Everyone loves love stories right? Well here's mine and we shall start with the day I met him:

I don't remember the day exactly, but I think it was a Sunday evening and it was in the late summer because it was beginning to cool off. My church at the time was putting on a bible study and was meeting in a little house that they had built off of the church. I remember walking into the building, and lo and behold, a young man was sitting and we locked eyes. I remember that out of everything, just how in that moment, our eyes locked. 

The event after that is fuzzy as I was only 16 years old, about to be 17 (doesn't that remind you of a song?). I was into t-shirts, studded belts, and converse shoes. Anyways, I don't remember being introduced (which I am assuming we were because I've always known Nathan's name). 

During the bible study, I remember Nathan looking at me during the entire study as if to get my approval over what he was saying or checking me out, I didn't know which one. I was trying to decide if this strange young man was cute or not. By the end of the study, I had come to my conclusion: he was not cute.

Little did I know that day would start a long journey, but we all start somewhere and I started with him not being cute. 

Next time I will talk about the highlights of our friendship. Since high school and college years are all sort of blended together, I only remember highlights of our friendship and would like for you to know them as well. 

So how did you meet your spouse? Did you think your spouse was attractive or weird or annoying? I would love to hear your story as every story is just so different! 

I wanted to remind everyone that I showcased Nick from Iron Sharpens Iron last month and I wanted to feature it again. Nick has a unique talent and people here in Cheyenne love his artwork! You can visit his Facebook Page to keep up with his work and to place customize orders for your home, yard, office, or anywhere! Hope you enjoy Nick's awesome talent!

To see the original post, click here.

I have another video blog out and I want to introduce to you Katheryn Kij! She's been a friend of mine for a while now and she's really creative, much like me, and she's very talented! 

One of the reasons why I asked her to be on my show was because she owned a physical business in Cheyenne at one point (which you can hear her talk about it in the video), and I wanted my viewers to take away wisdom and warnings that she discovered while owning her own store. I also wanted her to showcase her own work so if you ever wanted to ask for a personal order, then you can give her a ring. Or Like her Facebook Page and email her that way.

So without further ado, I want to welcome Katheryn! I hope you enjoy the video! 

A Forgotten Story

 

I am in a Writing Group and we met at the end of January and the beautiful Luana brought this picture along with a picture of a carnival as writing prompts. Luana wrote a very intriguing story about the old house which you should read! But mine, although not so suspenseful, was more on reflection. I would like to share my writing prompt with you with little edits made. Please feel free to leave a comment below to let me know how you liked it!

The old house floors creaked in the cold. Glass barely hanging on in the window sill tore and broke. But no one heard it for this creaky old house had been forgotten about. It once held a story; once there was paint on its panels, curtains on the windows blowing in the wind, laughter echoing, a warm fireplace brewing its mighty heat. 

But not anymore. It's story has ended and no one knew what it was anymore. 

The fireplace was bitterly cold, the ashes had long ago blown out of its cavern and onto the once beautiful floor, staining it with its blackish stain. The laughter and joys of humanhood were replaced by silence and the howl of the wind. 

Once there was food cooking in the kitchen, filling the house with its wonderful scent - saying, "Come! It's time to delight yourself in my tasty grandeur!" But now, the kitchen was scented with mold and decay.

What was this house story? Who lived there? What memories did it have? We will never find out for the memories have long soaked out of the wood, the warm smells had been blown out by the bitter wind, and the people had forgotten about the adventures they had made inside this house.

Now it sits desolate, in shambles, and lonely - who will restore it o it can become alive again?

Let me begin by saying that this story is not only REAL, but clearly God's Hand at work. I wanted to share this with you because I find it a blessing and a act of God Himself at work in my life.

I had the opportunity to partake in a Bridal Expo on Sunday, February 15, in Laramie. I was offering my services in hand-writing thank you cards, save the date postcards, thank you postcards, and website content for brides. As nature would have it, Wyoming was under a Winter Advisory, saying there was going to be snow and the roads may become slick. As you can imagine, I was hesitate because I'm a little Southern gal who still doesn't like driving in snowy conditions, especially when the distance is 45 minutes away.

My dear, loving husband came up with a solution: since he wanted to go hiking (yes, he wanted to go hiking in mountains under a winter advisory) and we were heading the same direction, he proposed that we ride together and he'll drop me off at the Expo and come pick me up afterwards. I liked the idea! It was brilliant! So we decided to do that.

The next day, which was the big Expo day, we got up and started to get ready. Nathan packed  both our dogs in the Jeep, but sine I had a sign that I wrote on with chalk, Nathan decided to leave the dogs at home so I could lay my sign down (it's about 28 inches tall and it was a mirror before. Not something I want to hold in my lap).

We started our journey which was good since the snow hadn't started to fall yet. When we got up to Laramie, the snow had begun in great big flakes. We got to the Expo and Nathan helped me unload. Since I couldn't afford a space to myself at the Expo, I shared a space. I started to unpack after I said my "Be safe" and good byes to Nathan. Kelly and Sarah shared my space and they sold essential oils and had brought their own table. We switched tables because the one that was already in the space was bigger and I didn't need all of it since I didn't bring much decorations for the booth.

We started to talk and I found out that they were from Cheyenne and we joked how we should have drove up together. After I had gotten set up, I got a call from Nathan. His Jeep was not accelerating and he didn't know what it was doing. He was going to call a tow truck to come get him. As with all marriages, when one person is stressed, the spouse gets stressed out as well. I wasn't too worried, but Nathan's stress and frustration was getting to me. 

He had a kind couple bring him to the Expo and he took care of business as far as getting a tow truck in order. The Expo started and I soon found myself selling my services to potential clients and brides. At slow times, Sarah, Kelly, and I would talk. Kelly offered to give us a ride back to Cheyenne. We found out that Sarah lives down the street from us, so we were heading in the right direction.

Nathan, although frustrated, began to look at the positive side of the situation. He told me, "Maybe God didn't want me to go to Snowy Range today. I didn't have my cold weather gear on, I didn't have my backpack, or my gloves. Maybe this was a way of God telling me not to go." I couldn't agree more! Let me tell you a little something about Nathan: when he goes hiking, he brings everything you can ever imagine as a "just in case" thing. He packs as if he could be stranded. Sunday he didn't pack his backpack, which tells me that God certainly had His hand in this because God took such good care of us that day!

Before we had left the house that morning, I decided to grab my keys and thought, "Just in case." I'm so glad that I did because I don't like climbing through the doggie door (yes, I can fit through the doggie door. No, I am not going to take a picture of me doing it).

Not only had I grabbed my keys, but Nathan left the dogs home (I'm pretty sure dogs were not allowed inside the building where models were walking around with wedding gowns on), God provided a kind couple to bring Nathan to the Expo, God provided a tow truck company to be open on a Sunday, God provided us a ride home with fellow believers, and He also provided us with essential oils to calm both of us down.

What a mighty God we serve! I'm still thanking Him that He protected Nathan and I from whatever danger that could have awaited for Nathan up in the mountains! He also provided EVERYTHING for us, down to essential oils!

What a crazy, awesome day that day was! 

Valentine’s Day is upon us and we are all thinking of ways to show our spouse love and appreciation. We’re in a frenzy of trying to buy chocolates, flowers, making arrangements to go out, etc., all in the name of wanting to spend time together to reconnect during the hectic days we call life.

But what about after Valentine’s Day? What happens to the love and appreciation we felt on February 14? What happens on February 15 or June 21? I want to talk about some ways that you can show your spouse love and appreciation during the whole year that isn’t fancy, time consuming, or costly. I’m working on this in my own life and thought I would share what I’m trying to do with you so that our spouses can feel loved and appreciated all year long!

Write a love letter. The art of letter writing is dying out as it is being overtaken with text, Facebook, Twitter, and Word. But take out a few minutes to write a letter of love or appreciation. My husband was leaving for the Reserves weekend and the night before, he shared his heart with me. I know that it’s hard for him to share sometimes and I wrote him a little letter telling him that I appreciated him opening up to me. I took the time to notice that he was involving me in his life and I thanked him for that opportunity. I stuck it in his bag so that during the weekend he would find it.

Encourage your spouse. This comes very hard for me because I don’t think about this all the time. But try to make a point to encourage your spouse. I don’t mean to go overboard (even though you can!), but it can be simple like, “Thank you for taking out the trash. I know you’re trying to help me take care of the house and I appreciate it.” Let your spouse know that you’re thankful for the mundane things as well as the big things. If he’s good at finances, let him know and encourage him to continue to do so in the future!

Buy your spouse something just because. One time I was grocery shopping and I remembered my husband saying that he wished we had ice cream in the freezer. So I brought him ice cream! I let him know that I did and added that I remember him saying how he would have liked some and brought it! Of course, stay within budget. This can be a sweet gesture showing your spouse that you’re thinking about him throughout the day.

Send sweet texts. I fail at this, but you can use technology at its best when you send sweet texts to your spouse. I don’t do this a lot because my husband doesn’t text very often. That is why I’m working on verbalizing it and writing it down (since I am a writer and all). 

Spend time with one another. I know this is on everyone list, but make some time out to just spend one on one time together. I struggle with this because when Nathan comes home, we eat and then watch Netflix. Sometime though, I do ask to cuddle because I love sweet cuddles. But even doing something in silence can be a way of spending time together (yes, Netflix can be a way to do that, even though it’s not the most romantic thing to do). Try to do something different every month like go hiking, visit the zoo, try a new restaurant, take dance classes, drink coffee, do something geeky (like play pokemon), or play a brand new board game. These are fun activities you can do anywhere! 

Say how much you appreciate your spouse to his/her face. It’s easy to write down, “Thank you for doing such-and-such.” But it’s hard to say it. At least it is for me. I am trying to get more verbal about saying how much I appreciate Nathan in the moment. If he does something and I appreciate it, I try to say so. I am not the best at this, and that is why I’m writing it down so that I can hold myself accountable to doing this more. Like I said earlier, even if it’s the mundane, everyday things that you might expect him to do, still thank him for it. Nathan feeds the dogs every morning and goes to work (I never have to worry about him not going to work, which is a blessing). I should tell Nathan how appreciative I am of this. It’s the small things that keeps us going, right? Why not tell our spouses how thankful we are for the small things that they do?

Please share how you show your spouse love throughout the year. Everyone is so vastly different and hearing what works for one person gives others a different perspective on how they can do that for their spouses! I am looking forward to your responses!