We have all had those days where it started out right, but ended horribly. You don't know how it happened, or maybe you do, but you wonder, How did we get to this place?! The next day, you feel drained, depressed, and sad.
Last night was one of those nights. The day started out great, full of promise, warmth, and closeness, but instead it ended with destruction, hurt, anger, and a feeling of hopelessness. The next day, which is today by the way, I'm feeling hurt, angry, and vulnerable. I knew from the moment I got up, I needed to spend time with God, just to pour out my heart and to cry to Him. I needed to ask for His forgiveness, and to humbly ask Him to help me forgive. Then I needed to ask Him to help me love.
Loving someone is so hard, espeically when they have hurt you and said horrible things that just cut you to the core. I don't know how we got here or how we are going to get out of it, but I know one thing: God is faithful and He always have been. He will not leave me nor forsake me especially as Satan battles for my very soul.
I know that this division is from Satan and sometimes, if not most, I feel like he's winning. I know he wants to see my happiness destroyed. He has already done that for a loved one and it breaks my heart. I know he's trying to break me too.
So this morning, I prayed that the chains of Satan would be broken and that God's mighty light will shine forth. I prayed that God would shed His peace, that He would cover my loved one. I keep remembering the verse that says, "So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me void, But it shall accomplish what I please, And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it." (Isaiah 55:11). I hold on to that promise because God's Word NEVER returns void and it will prosper!
I also remember these verses as well: "And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Phil 4:7) and "Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." (Romans 8:37).
I know God wants that same peace and mindset for my loved one, but it's up to them to deal with what's in their hearts. I know I need to focus on me and what I can do. You know what that is? Loving them in the state they are in and to forgive them even when I am hurt. And that is one of the hardest things to do.
But I know I cannot do it alone. I have to look to Christ and seek Him and call out to Him to help me. I know my battle is not over, in fact, it is FAR from over. But I know that with Jesus' help, I can be more than a conqueror, I have the peace of God within me, and His Word never comes back to Him void. I have to chose to look towards Christ and I have to chose to trust Him and I have to chose to give my frustration, hurt, anger, and pain up to Him. For He is the healer of all.
One song that always touches my heart and helps me to remember to give it ALL to Him is "My Heart is Yours" by Kristian Stanfill. It brings chills to my skin as I praise and worship the One who promises to get me through the thick and thin. I hope that today you are encouraged. I know your battle is not over with, but with Jesus, He can bring you hope in a hopeless situation, He can bring you life when you feel dead, He will bring you comfort when you're hurt, and He wants you to have peace in the midst of your hell.
Turn to Him and give it all. Pick up your cross and whatever the cost, give it all to Him, for He cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7)
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