As I come to the end of the year and begin to reflect what this year has taught me, I am, quite frankly, glad to be done with 2014. This year has been hard on me, spiritually. I have been under attack from Satan himself since early this year. I am hoping that 2015 will be a far better year with far better results by December 31. I’m happy that God creates a new year every year! 

But, 2014 has had some good lessons and I would like to share with you what 2014 has taught me as I have gone through my good times and my hard times.

1.       Life is down right hard! I know that you are probably going, “Well duh, Monica!” But remember, I’ve been spoiled by the military since getting married and before that, I was under my parents wings. Since Nathan got out of the military in August and started a new job, the bills are even worst (by that I mean we’re not getting paid the bonuses the military adds on top of every paycheck). And we’re learning all sorts of things about insurance. I freakin’ hate insurance. I want my TriCare! This is why I feel like life was so hard after Nathan got out of the USAF. However, I am very proud that he tried something so different and seems to be enjoying his civilian life.

2.      Starting your own business is VERY time consuming! Another “Duh” moment, but I don’t think anyone ever tells you how time consuming and hard it is! When I first took off with my freelancing, I was thinking I would be filing invoices and work. Nope. I had to read up about taxes, what to charge, how to file according to section C in my taxes, where to place myself on and off line, where to network, how to network and the list goes on. I had to ask myself what types of social media am I going to get on, what are some things I can try new, how can I get paid right now, how long potential projects will take, and the list goes on. I don’t think you know this, but the work I put into my freelance business, including social media, is between 20-30 hours a week. I am CONSTANTLY working on it in some form, fashion, way, sign, light, and any other word you can think of.

3.      Marriage is tough. Tougher than I could have ever believed. It’s hard learning to love someone you’re not forced to love (come on, we all know our parents forced us to love our siblings). It’s hard dealing with someone with the opposite mind set as you. It’s hard putting Christ into the center of your relationship. I have learned the awful being named Pride. Pride loves to come out and show its ugly head in my life. I am trying to put pride down, which is a lesson I’ll forever be doing.

4.      Despite marriage being hard, I learned some hard lessons on forgiveness, whether it’s my spouse or someone else. I can honestly say I have a firmer grasp on WHY I should forgive. I shall be blogging about this sometime in early 2015, but I know as a believer what Christ did for me, and quite frankly, Christ expects me to forgive others just as He forgave me (Ephesians 4:31-32).

5.      I’ve learned that being a wife has a whole different meaning than what I even thought two years ago. Being a wife means showing my husband love, compassion, mercy, grace, and forgiveness regardless if I think he deserves it or not. Being a wife means I have a godly duty to respect my husband despite my feelings. Feelings are not truth all the time; God’s Word is truth. This is what God has called me to do and I need to respect my husband because this is honoring God.

6.      I have also learned that I am only responsible for my own actions because God has called me to a standard and I am to follow that standard. I am not responsible for the way anyone else acts or speak. I have to make sure my heart is in the right place because that is what I will be judged on one day.

7.      I have learned that sex is not just “sex”. Sex is a God-given Holy Communion between my husband and I. God created sex HOLY. God has also given me permission to be FREE with sex with my husband. God has also given me boundaries on the topic of sex which you can read about in Passion Pursuit. This, to me, is pretty cool because I think so many people never realize how important sex is to a husband and wife nor do they realize how holy sex is according to God.

8.     I’ve learned that I am claustrophobic. Maybe I should have figured it out a long time ago, but apparently it just dong on me this year that I am claustrophobic. I figured this out by watching a movie of people crawling in some vents and they were trying to get away from someone or something (I can’t remember). I remember holding my breath and feeling stressed. That is when it hit me, “I’m claustrophobic!” This will explain why I’ve always hated elevators – despite the fact they are death boxes.

9.      I’ve learned that Satan will attack marriages the hardest. I heard it said recently that since marriage is the closest example of the way God sees us and want us to be with Him, that is why Satan attacks it the most.

10.   I’ve also learned that my husband is NOT my enemy. Satan is. Since learning this, I can look past the argument or the situation and see Satan in the midst. Sadly this does not help stop an argument (thank you pride), but it helps me give out more grace and compassion on my spouse. It helps me see his battle and what’s going on inside of him and Satan is making it worst with an argument or the situation.

11.   I truly believe this year has taught me to look at the little things in life and praise God for it. I almost feel like this year’s battles and bright moments have been half and half. Honestly, I cannot see the good outweighing the bitter moments. But what I have seen is that God is constantly helping me see the little things – the baby steps – and praising Him for it. I do get caught up in my own bitter world, but He reminds me (sometimes through a friend) of His faithfulness and His grace. I have to force myself to say, “Praise You O God!” Because my flesh does not want to do that! It wants to have a little pity party with a live band!

12.  I have learned and am learning to be confident in my abilities since I’ve started my own freelance business. I have to be confident in myself, my work, and my abilities. As it is true with everyone, you’re your own worst critic, and I cannot be like that in front of people. Or in an email. I have to be 100% confident in my ability to perform a job that I might not feel so confident on. But as one person told me this month, “No job is too big for you!” And I believe her!

13.   This is not something that I learn, but it’s more of an observation that I know God wanted to share with me. I have a great church family here in Cheyenne, Wyoming. I want to brag about these people because they have become very special to me. I have about three Mommas at my church and one dad-like figure in my life. My parents NEVER have to worry about me because God has placed me in good hands. I am blessed to have these women and men in my life because, honestly, without them this year, I have no idea where I would be. I would be in a hopeless state for sure. But these people have constantly prayed for me, supported me, loved on me, and care for me above all words that I could write on here. This is for North Christian Church who has loved on both Nathan and me! I love you guys!

14.  Apparently God is making me a leader of sorts because I am leading an Arts and Crafts group for the military spouses on base as well as leading a Bible study with a friend of mine. I have started my own business and I might be starting a networking group here in Cheyenne (I know, another networking group! Just to give you an idea, I’m in about 5-7 networking groups as it is!)!

God has done A LOT in my life since 2013; I am a completely different person from who I was in 2013. The things I tolerate now, I wouldn’t have in 2013. The way I thought in 2013 is pretty opposite from 2014. I know it is God working in and through me.

I know this year was a hard one, but God has a plan for it. He has equipped me with people who are praying over me, love me, and care about me. He has blessed me richly with finding me clients for January. He has put me in Cheyenne, Wyoming, the least populated state in America, for a reason.

 I know 2015 will show me this reason more and more and I know one thing for sure: God has remained faithful towards me and He will continue to remain faithful.  I know He will continue to grow me in Him and show me His will. 

I am putting a lid – so to speak – on 2014 and eagerly waiting to open the lid of 2015! Happy New Year everyone!